Corn Nuts Are Not Classroom Friendly

We all love Corn Nuts. There's a bunch of different flavors, they're super crunchy, and they're just a good snack. But in NO way do they belong in the classroom. There's this girl in my English class that just doesn't get it. She sits two chairs away from me and eats these things ALL the time. It bugged me to a point, but I was okay with it because we were busy doing other things in class. But the she crunched her way through our midterm. Seriously? It was dead silent except for this girl's crunching. Like c'mon, it breaks like every rule regarding classroom food.

1. Food must not be crunchy.

Corn Nuts might literally be the crunchiest food of all time. Like there are seriously times when I thought I broke a tooth on one of these bad boys. Even worse, they're kinda tooth-shaped and -sized. So I'd get even more scared and check it, only to find out it was the Corn Nut.

2. Bag must not be crinkly.

Again, crinkliest bag of all time. It's not like the bag opening is big enough to just slip your hand inside and grab a handful. Either you twiddle your index and middle finger inside and scissor some out of the bag or you just pour 'em out. Either way, major crinklage going on there. Empty the bag into a zip-loc for all I care, just say no to the crinkly bag.

3. Food must not smell.

I love Corn Nuts as much as the next person, but everyone knows that once you start eating them, your breath is shot. Don't plan on having any up-close conversations after busting open a bag. There's no mint-flavored Corn Nuts, guys. Ranch, Barbecue, Nacho Cheese, and Chile Picante. Which one do you want to destroy your breath? The smell also just manages to float around. Like how powerful is that smell that it's able to just overwhelm a room like that?

4. Food must not require finger licking.

This might be a ticky-tack rule, but I think it's earned its spot. Corn Nuts, like Hot Cheetos and other chips, leave that flavored residue on the fingers. First instinct is to lick it off, I understand. But now you've got saliva and Ranch Corn Nut smelling residue on your fingers. Nice. Save the finger sucking for home and bring something else to eat in class. Gross.

Bottom line, don't bring Corn Nuts to class.