Like many gamers out there, I spend much of my gaming time playing NBA 2K11. The game really isn't worth playing if you don't play online so that's really the only aspect of the game I have delved into. Let me make one thing clear before I continue: I am not particularly skilled at this game. That being said, it's not uncommon for me to get absolutely demolished by some nerd that spends 22 hours a day on Xbox Live. However, I can hold my own if I catch rythym. (By the way, my Xbox gamertag is AyeCee16. Add me if you got it.)
I have what I like to call a gamer's conscience, meaning I feel guilty using any of the following teams: Heat, Lakers, Celtics, Bulls. If I had to put a percentage on it, I play against these teams probably around 95% of the time I play. They're just so unstoppable if you really know how to play the game. My team of choice is the Thunder. They have skilled players, but are still bad enough in some areas that I feel somewhat accomplished if I win.
My go-to guy is Kevin Durant and for good reason. He's a lanky, yet smooth, player with a deadly shot. He's rated a 91 in the game, which is right at he bottom of what is considered elite. LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, and Kobe Bryant are all rated 97, to put it in perspective. A 91-rated player should be able to dominate any game if given the right opportunities to do so, right? That's what I thought too, until just the other night.
So I sign in to Xbox Live, I pick the Thunder, set my roster, and get ready for tip-off. The rest of the 20 minute game can be summed up in three words: Pull. Flick. Clank. Those are the pulling of the right joystick, the flick of its release to shoot the ball, and the clank of the ball hitting the rim and bouncing seemingly further away from the basket with each and every shot.
The right joystick has never been and hopefully never will be as fruitless as it was on that night. Durant was ice cold, shooting 2-18 from the field, scoring only 10 points (he was 6-6 from the line). I was playing the Celtics and they are a fine defensive team in their own right, but I was finding KD some prime looks at the basket. Layups, mid-range jumpers, three pointers all falling by the wayside. The game ended, I lost by a considerable margin, and I immediately began to think about what went wrong.
I mean, how could a player SO good be SO bad in a video game? It's not like he has feelings, right? After a moment of self-blame, it came to me. Is it possible that Kevin Durant actually has a cyber life inside the game itself? I know it seems crazy, but hear me out. I bet his cyber girlfriend sent him a text message breakup right before the game, right? That has to be it. Or I know, him and Russell Westbrook got into a cyber tussle in the locker room before warmups. Yeah, that explains it.
Maybe he had a bad plate of cyber pasta. You know, cyber food poisoning. No way he could play through that. Ah, there were probably cyber trade rumors coming from management. What do I know? I don't deal with the brass of the organization, I'm just the puppeteer. He's probably upset with his cyber contract. I'm rated a freakin' 91! Pay me like a 91! He had to realize he's being underpaid sooner or later.
There's nothing to do in Oklahoma City other than drink and watch college football. He probably went on a bender the night before. Yeah there we go, a cyber hangover. Just went David Wells on 'em. That bastard probably threw the game! Someone made him a cyber offer he couldn't refuse and he was able to put a little extra cash in his pocket after bricking up the joint.
It has to be one of those reasons, right? It just has to. It couldn't be my fault. No way.
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