Just Spell the Word!

So I wake up today and the first thing I turn on is the Scripps National Spelling Bee. I usually leave it on and watch it with my eyes glued in wonder at the brains on some of these kids. I mean, what 12 year old do you know can spell appoggiatura in front of a hall full of people and many more watching on television? I'm pretty sure I was collecting baseball cards and flicking boogers at that age.

Anyway, as I prepared to be amazed, I quickly grew annoyed.

Uh, can you repeat the word?
Can I have the definition?
What's the country of origin?
Can you use the word in a sentence?
Am I saying the word right?
Can you repeat the definition?
Are there any alternate pronunciations?
You said it was French, right?


Bro just spell the word! Are you kidding me right now? Might as well ask for the spelling of the damn word! If I was in charge of the Spelling Bee, I'd take those questions out of the rule book quicker than you can spell staphylococci.

You want the definition? Should have studied that beforehand, dude. Country of origin? Nope, sorry. Webster's dictionary has all that info for you. Want a sentence? Make one up yourself. Tough luck. What other test have you taken where you can just ask a load of questions to help your cause? Good luck in 8th grade, kid. That type of thing ain't gonna fly there.

Oh, well there's too many words to memorize blah blah blah. Cry me a river, bro. Sometimes winning takes a little luck. If you didn't study the word, you're just shit outta luck. Plain and simple.

Someone needs to take a stand and stick it to these nerds. Might as well be me.